1. i’ve dreamt of your fingers three nights in a row now. sometimes i’ll catch what little i remember of your scent in the air and i’ll wish i could call you to tell you
2. my grandmother has a lump the size of an almond in her brain. she does not know about it. i think it would help… the knowing.
3. just how much i love you and have always and will always
4. i find that lately i am both my most destructive and most creative self when i am alone.
5. feel entirely at home when we speak.
I had probably given too much of myself to the space I felt I was allowed. I lost a lot of myself these past few months. And in the same way, I have found parts of me in places I’d have never thought to look.
And I am exhausted of going out of my way to hurt myself. And in some strange bout of arrogance, I refused to acknowledge the way I’d crossed you, too. One year ago, I would have been too proud to apologize. Today, I am too tired.
This is something that still needs to be fixed. But I think maybe tomorrow is a better day for it.
I have finally found a more tangible truth in a metaphor I have maintained since my childhood. I haunt in the same way I love — like the ocean.
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